{"id":12772,"date":"2015-06-19T18:42:21","date_gmt":"2015-06-19T10:42:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/?p=12772"},"modified":"2015-06-19T18:42:21","modified_gmt":"2015-06-19T10:42:21","slug":"10-things-swimming-parents-do-that-coaches-cant-stand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/?p=12772","title":{"rendered":"10 Things Swimming Parents Do That Coaches Can\u2019t Stand"},"content":{"rendered":"

10 Things Swimming Parents Do That Coaches Can\u2019t Stand<\/strong><\/p>\n

By Wayne Goldsmith<\/em><\/p>\n

A close friend and one of the giants of world swimming coaching has a saying:<\/p>\n

\u201cMy idea of coaching heaven is to have a ten lane, world-class swimming facility, with a fully equipped, professional quality gymnasium and a state of the art recovery centre built right alongside the world\u2019s biggest orphanage.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Why would someone with Olympic Gold medal, world record and world championship level coaching credentials feel so strongly about the challenges of working with swimming parents?<\/p>\n

It should<\/em> be relatively straight forward: coaches coach; swimmers swim, parents parent<\/strong>. Not that all that complicated really. This is not a thesis on thermodynamics \u2013 it\u2019s just three groups of people working together to achieve a common goal \u2013 to help a swimmer realise their full potential.<\/p>\n

So why is it that so many coaches will tell you that their biggest problem \u2013 the greatest challenge they face \u2013 is not finding pool space or identifying talented swimmers or battling bad weather or being able to buy the latest and greatest swimming training equipment: it\u2019s working with difficult and sometimes destructive swimming parents?<\/p>\n

Maybe this might explain it:<\/p>\n

1. Doing it all for their kids.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Confidence is the essential ingredient in all great swimming success stories<\/a>. Confidence comes from knowing: i.e. knowing you can do<\/strong> it. Swimming parents think they\u2019re helping by doing all the little things for their kids but the parents who pack their child\u2019s swimming bag, empty it for them, make their breakfast, carry their swim gear, fill their water bottles etc. are doing the exact opposite. They are creating dependent<\/em> swimmers \u2013 instead of independent<\/em> young people and that\u2019s not going to result in developing teenagers who possess a\u00a0strong sense of confidence, self-belief, resilience and self-reliance.<\/p>\n

2. Insist on coaching their kids in technical areas.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Coaches coach. Parents parent. That\u2019s it. It\u2019s that simple. Coaches help swimmers develop things like physical skills, technical skills, turns, dives, starts, finishes, kicking, pulling \u2013 all that stuff.<\/a> Swimming parents help their children learn values and virtues and help their children to develop the positive character traits that will sustain\u00a0them throughout their lives. If everyone stays focused on doing their job well \u2013 everyone wins \u2013 particularly<\/em> the swimmer.<\/p>\n

3. Listen to other parents talk about technical issues.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Swimming parents listening to other swimming parents about technical issues really annoys coaches. For example:\u00a0\u201cMy friend, Susie, whose child swims at another program told me that they do a lot more breaststroke than we do. Can we start doing a lot more breaststroke?\u201d\u00a0<\/em>Coaches spend years learning how to write programs, how to enhance swimming skills, how to improve stroke technique and how to build an effective training environment. Unless \u201cSusie\u201d<\/strong> has the same skills, experience, knowledge and commitment to coaching, it is unlikely her opinions on technical matters are as valid as the coach\u2019s. Sitting on the side of another pool, watching training from a distance (and let\u2019s face it \u2013 parents only really watch their own child anyway), then making assumptions to apply to all swimmers at all pools is so ludicrous it is incredible that it happens at all. Yet \u2013 for some reason \u2013 some swimming parents find it necessary to listen to the views of people who have no idea what they\u2019re talking about rather than have faith and trust in their child\u2019s highly trained and experienced professional coach.<\/p>\n

4. Gossip.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Want to know why swimming parents are banned from so many pools around the world \u2013 Gossip.<\/strong> Coaches hate those little groups of swimming parents who sit together comparing \u201cJohn\u2019s freestyle technique\u201d<\/em> to \u201cMary\u2019s freestyle technique\u201d<\/em> and then criticise the coach because neither child swims as fast as Michael Phelps, even though they\u2019re only six years old and train once a month. Got a problem with the coach \u2013 go to the source and talk to the coach<\/strong> \u2013 not to other swimming parents.<\/p>\n

5. Talk swimming all the time to their kids.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We all love this sport. But it\u2019s just a sport. There are movies, art, music, politics, literature, theatre, other sports, rest time, going to the beach, hiking, learning another language\u2026..the world is full of millions of wonderful experiences and children need the opportunity to be exposed to as many of them as possible. There is no need to talk swimming all the time. All it will do it increase the likelihood that the child will walk away from the sport in their mid teens and frankly \u2013 this \u201cteenage retirement\u201d syndrome is a worldwide swimming epidemic that we all have to work together and try to stop.<\/p>\n

6. Expect PRs every time their child swims.<\/strong><\/p>\n

No one swims PRs every time they swim. No one. Re-read this line ten times. No one<\/span><\/strong>.<\/span> Coaches cringe when swimming parents approach them saying \u201cSteve didn\u2019t do a PR in his butterfly today \u2013 what\u2019s wrong? What\u2019s the problem?\u201d<\/em>\u00a0The child might have done a PR is seven other events<\/a>, have done five football practices through the week and sat for four school exams but because they didn\u2019t do a PR in one event, there\u2019s a problem?! Trust in the coach to do his or her job.<\/p>\n

7. Demand accelerated development.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Coaches design and develop their program structures with a lot of thought, research and experience behind it. This long-term development pathway concept has its roots in mainstream education. For example, children aged 5 are introduced to basic mathematics at school. \u00a0When they turn 8 years of age, they are exposed to long division. When they\u2019re 15\u00a0they can do trigonometry, calculus and advanced geometry. Similarly, there\u2019s a logical, purposeful process of developing athletes from learning to swim their first stroke to being able to win a national swimming title. Swimming parents who try to force coaches to push their kids ahead to the next level of development before they\u2019re ready, are not helping the child (or the coach).<\/p>\n

8. Give race instructions to their kids.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Just don\u2019t do it. No need to comment further on this \u2013 just don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

9. Treat their children according to their child\u2019s swimming performances.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This happens everywhere in the world and for some reason some swimming parents just don\u2019t get it. Child wins<\/strong> \u2013 love them with all your heart. Child loses<\/strong><\/a> \u2013 love them with all your heart. Child does ten PRs \u2013 love and support them unconditionally.<\/strong> Child doesn\u2019t do a PR for six months \u2013 love and support them unconditionally.<\/strong> How fast a child swims should have no bearing on how they are treated, spoken to or loved. When it comes to loving and supporting your child \u2013 particularly in public<\/em> \u2013 winning and losing make no difference.<\/p>\n

10. Try to talk to the coach on deck during workouts.<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a really good reason why coaches don\u2019t like this. Safety.<\/span><\/strong>If a coach turns their head to talk to a swimming parent about \u201cBilly\u2019s backstroke turns\u201d<\/em> or \u201cJenny\u2019s butterfly splits\u201d<\/em> and there\u2019s a safety issue in the pool, the coach is legally responsible and liable. Put it another way, if another swimming parent was talking with the coach on deck during workout and that meant your own child\u2019s safety was compromised, how would you<\/em><\/strong> feel?<\/p>\n

When coaches, swimmers and swimming parents work together as partners in performance \u2013 100% committed and focused on helping the swimmer to realise their full potential, amazing \u2013 incredible things are not only possible \u2013 but inevitable.<\/p>\n

A positive, constructive, successful swimming program is very possible when swimmers, coaches and swimming parents work together honestly, respectfully and with integrity.<\/p>\n

Wayne Goldsmith<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

10 Things Swimming Parents Do That Coaches Can\u2019t Stand By Wayne Goldsmith A close friend and one of the giants of world swimming coaching has a saying: \u201cMy idea of coaching heaven is to have a ten lane, world-class swimming facility, with a fully equipped, […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12772","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12772","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12772"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12772\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12774,"href":"https:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12772\/revisions\/12774"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12772"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12772"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.arenaswimclub.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12772"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}